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Advice for the Day:

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children." You spend the first two years of their lives teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat every word for word what you shouldn't have said. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. We childproofed our home three years ago and they're still getting in!

Anyway, be nice to your children, they might choose your nursing home someday.

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